Today marks the 20th day since I returned to Taiwan.
The 20th day of still not finding a job.
The 20th day of living with the fear – what if I really can’t find one?
These days, I’ve been struggling with job hunting. I’ve applied to nearly 50 positions, received 3 interview invitations. Got accepted for 2. Failed 1.
And yet… I’m still not satisfied.
It’s not about the salary. It’s about what I will learn from the job. The experience. The growth.
Right now, I still haven’t figured out the direction of my career. I have a general sense of where I want to go, but the destination remains blurry.
So I hesitate. I don’t want something temporary. I don’t want to take just any job for the sake of earning money. I’m also afraid of choosing something that doesn’t fit.
I keep telling myself: Don’t rush. Choose carefully.
Because whatever job I choose now, I will likely stay with it for at least a year or more.
So don’t be careless.
These days, I’ve had to comfort myself a lot. I try to transform my anxiety into some so-called self-improvement activities: studying Chinese, practicing guitar, exercises.
One thing I am truly grateful for is that I found a beautiful room. It’s spacious, filled with light, with a balcony that opens to the sky. I spend most of my day there – watching the sky of Taiwan. Watching the clouds. Watching the trains pass. Watching the streams of traffic. Watching the glittering lights of the city.
I can feel the wind moving through my hair, brushing my cheek – as if it’s trying to comfort me. As if the wind is whispering:
“It’s okay. You’ll be fine.
You’ll find your job.
Your life will fall into place.”
Yes.
Everything will be okay.
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Here’s the song I’m listening to right now – I used its name as the title of this post.
I hope you’ll listen along too.
《 風吹過的時候 》- 周雨彤, 任素汐, 孫千, 金靖